Confirmation Bias

Exhaustion keeps creeping in. It feels superbly unwarranted; I have no idea why this is so. I feel like a kite, soaring in the sky, hanging just by a thread that is currently still strong enough to keep me grounded, yet, with the right amount of force, it can snap and be lost. Only to be found again, stuck in a tree in the distance.

I need to find a way to feel contented again. It comes and it goes. Today, as I watch my mom joking around with her two brothers and laughing heartily, I was contented. When I pranced around the living room, inciting much amusement from my beloved grandmama, I felt contented. Now, as I sit here in my empty room, I am a-missing. I know what I am missing. I just don’t know where to find it. Hence, I hope it will come to me.

I do pray that I will be whole. Hence, the confirmation bias. I must learn to let go, I feel. I must learn to be independent, and to seek freedom, in spite of it all. I must.

I want to gallavant so I won’t have to confront these overwhelming thoughts and emotions. I want to focus on my work, and not procrastinate. I want to sleep. I want to dream. I want to live in my utopian imagination. I want the impossible. I have to let go. How would I escape? I can’t just live in an illusion, can I?I know I can’t.

These days, I’m remembering again. I know it is a bad sign when I feel nostalgic about my past. I’m certain that I don’t want to get back to it. I just feel… lost.

Songs float through my head; those that punctuated those days of my life. The events, and the emotions, or the lack of it.

Perhaps, it is because I feel that I allowed myself to commit one of the stupidest acts of my life, recently, okay, not so recent, a few months ago. I seem to have lost a part of me with it. I should have been more considerate. I should have used my heart, but satan clouded my brains. My intentions weren’t all unholy, I suppose, I should have just known that it can’t be right given the circumstances.

I usually don’t allow myself to bear it all, and let the misery seep through, so you can imagine the current state of my soul. Or not. I haven’t updated in forever, so I am pretty sure not many people would want to read my miserable rantings; especially when the past few entries were just as miserable. Again, due to my ultimate act of stupidity. Ugh, God forgive me please. Don’t let me be so stupid. Please let me keep the amanah of all of those who trust me. Please please, please don’t let me be hypocritical.

Ok, enough of ranting.  It isn’t so much of self-pity, I honestly do not feel like I deserve sympathy (ha ha). I just wish I could be better. Less lazy for one, more filial, etc. I suppose it’s a good thing that I feel like reading the qur’an badly, and having a good cry. I think I need to feel the love from Allah s.w.t., and to love Him in a manner that is befitting of Him. It is a blessing that I am able to perform my minial acts of worship again tonight. Off to shower, and to attempt to clean my heart.

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said,

“There is a lump of flesh inside of you. If it goes right, the whole body goes right. If it is corrupted and evil, the whole body becomes corrupted and evil; and that is ‘al-Qalb’ – it is the heart. It is the heart.”

Please forgive me.

 

Flashlight

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم.اللهم صلى على سيدنا محمد

It has been a long time, indeed. Well, I went through a major reflective stage and I’m still not back from it yet. I wish that it would not be like this, that I would not fail the tests from Allah s.w.t. It keeps on flashing in my mind, although I try hard not to let it bother me. I have put it behind me for most parts, I suppose. InsyaAllah, I wouldn’t be bothered anymore. Oh well.

On a different note, Ramadan came and it hurriedly passes by. 9 more days. I’ve been busy much. Fulfilling far too many obligations.

I feel inadequate. There are too many missing parts.

I really need to be a better and a more useful family member. I should practice more patience and stop throwing tantrums. Ugh, I really really loathe and detest my temper.

I’ve got to stop being so sensitive. I just I read too much into things at times, and I might have too high an expectation of the people I’m closest to. Hence, people disappoint me easily, and I try not to let it get to me, but it often does. Again, I must work on this aspect. Lower my expectations or sth, I don’t know. Also, I should stop being superficial (haha) so inappropriate; must not elaborate.

School has been insane, midsem is coming. I am honestly losing my mind. Too many readings, too many scholars, too many issues thrown about in class that are unfamiliar, too many alien politicians, just.too.many. Ugh, I’m a political science student, I should be apt in politics, but sadly, I’m not really. Alhamdullilah, I can swivel my way around, and there are some issues that I really feel strongly about but I honestly can’t be bothered to immerse myself in the banter of the US politicians and their TV personalities.

Research for thesis… Uhm, is nowhere? I haven’t started, and I really do not have the time for it? At all. I really have to start somewhere. InsyaAllah, in two weeks I will sit down and find journals to read. I’m doing on Muslim integration in Western Europe (prolly Scandinavia) so if whoever has any information on that, please let me know. Speaking of which, I should let my mom know so she can extract the relevant articles from newspapers for me. Hehe, yes I have a mother who cut out newspaper articles for me weekly.

Ok. Should really stop rambling. I just needed to rant a bit, I suppose.

 

Unsettled

I’m scared much. Please ya Allah, do not include me, my family and my companions in the ranks of the hypocrites. Amin.

Yesterday was an eventful day. I underwent several emotional changes, and despite me telling myself not to get angry, I did become highly frustrated. And I expressed my frustration despite me telling myself that I would just keep this matter to myself. I still feel slightly uneasy, but I’m hoping it works out for the best. On Friday, Ustad told us that we should not be on bad terms with our Muslim brothers and sisters for more than 3 days, that is forbidden. I am ashamed to say that I do not always adhere to this, and I think I should apologize and clear things with people, and not maintain the nonchalent ‘whatever’ stance I used to uphold.

 

Dispirited

Hypocrisy is my greatest fear.

My accountability for the words I pen in this blog, or through other outlets scares me, especially when I’m so fallible and prone to worldly temptations. I feel like I try not to commit these sins, but I do over and over again. Perhaps, I’m not trying hard enough. I feel that I’ve failed Allah’s tests for me recently by not being strong enough and not having iman in my heart while blatantly committing sins. It is extremely shameful and for these, I honestly have to count on Allah’s blessings as what is done cannot be undone. My only du’a is for Allah s.w.t to undo/erase the sins committed.

I awoke feeling disoriented. Perhaps, I should really pray istighaarah although I’ve never done it before. As time goes by, I have a growing feeling of certainty and conviction that the laws in Islam are meant to bring out the best in us. Yet, I am most certainly zalim to myself, and perhaps those around me in not complying with such rules. I would love to say that I’ve put my past behind me, but it has been only haunting me recently, and the safety device and protection (i.e. hijaab) that I don doesn’t seem to be able to block out everything. I’m yet exposed to the reoccurance of certain activities, and I pray that I can put an end to it by picking up the pieces and start again in trying to increase iman.

I’m probably at an all time low, and I hope that from here, I can only go up. Please include me in your du’a.

 

Reflections in Rajab

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Today, I got reminded of a conversation Ameera, Faisal and I had one night after tafsir, when Faisal related to us about Abu Bakr giving away all his wealth when the Prophet s.a.w called for charity, and when asked what did he leave behind for himself and his family, he replied that he left behind Allah s.w.t and His Messenger, Muhammad s.a.w. I remember it touching me so, masyaAllah, let us just reflect on the selfless and benevolent nature of Abu Bakr (radiallahuanhu). How can such examples pass us by, while we indulge our modern selves with images of displayed philantrophy from the likes of Oprah Winfrey, Brad Pitt, etc. People who feel the need to ceremonise their contributions by a gala and a ball. Instead, shouldn’t charity be an inward celebration, a move to please our Rabb, to aid our brothers and sisters, to share the rizkh we were blessed with? There are too many things about the sahabah, and about our beloved Prophet that we should bother to learn about, but we get too caught up in our world of illusions. We do not practice and ingrain the mentality of a stranger/traveller in this dunya, as our Prophet advised us to -

On the authority of Ibn ‘Umar, radiyallahu ‘nhuma, who said: The Messenger of Allah, sallulahu ‘alayhi wasallam took me by the shoulder and said”

“Be in this world as though you were a stranger or a traveler/wayferer”.

In other words, we should not be too attached, too caught up in chasing our material needs, in settling ourselves down in comfort. Wherein lies our sense of urgency? How prepared are we to face God’s questions in the hereafter? How are we going to face Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. with full knowledge of our disobediance towards his kind and conscientious teachings?

As Prophet Nuh, alaihi salaam, commented on his long life on Earth (over 1000 years): the dunya is like a house with two doors, I enter from one and exit from the other. SubhanAllah, such a simply analogy coming from a man who has been living for so many years, and preaching Allah’s message for 950 years. Yet, at the end of it, his nation refused to acknowledge his message except for about 70-odd people. In the 21st century, you have men and women struggling to find the ‘cure’ to death – to live as long as possible. What are they actually fearful about? Why the frantic search for immortality? Apparently, the idea of death has not been fully registered in their brains; as the case with ours, or mine. I disappoint myself time and again upon performing prayers, that I’m not keeping to the Prophet’s advise to perform each salah as if it were your last. We allow ourselves to be distracted, for our minds to wander, thinking about the clothes that we’re going to wear, the time we are chasing, the people who are waiting for us. We must improve ourselves. We have to at least put in effort so we will be worthy of the other 99 parts of Allah’s mercy in the hereafter.

Abu Hurairah (radi allahu anhu) related that the Prophet Muhammad (sallulahu ‘alayhi wasallam) said:

“Allah created mercy in 100 parts and send down to Earth only one part. Beacuse of this one part, there is mutual love amongst creation, so much so that an animal will lift up its hoof from its young one, feating that it might harm it. Allah has reserved the remaining 99 parts of this mercy to favour His believing servants on the Day of Judgment”

(Bukhari and Muslim)

This is one of my ultimate favourite hadiths, especially coupled with the ayat in the Qur’an

“My mercy has encompassed everything” (7:56)

Ustad Yaseer once related that Allah s.w.t loves us, and all he wants from us, his most beloved creations, is to love Him back. To love Him will be to “Hear and Obey”. How my heart sinks when I attempt to grasp the vast extent of my disobediance. For that, one of my goals from now on is to control my anger.

Abu Hurairah, radiyallahu ‘anhu, reported that a man said to the Prophet, sallalluhu ‘alaiyi wasallam:

“Advise me!” The Prophet said, “Do not become angry and furious.” The man asked (the same) again and again, and the Prophet said in each case, “Do not become angry and furious”.

Ever so often, I would lose my temper, become easily agitated, blame it on PMS or whatever it is, but in truth, it is my responsibility to control my emotions and not to upset or hurt others with outbursts. Especially when anger is the tool of the devil. I/we should remember to seek refuge with Allah from the devil, whenever this emotion strikes a chord within us. I did have it in me to explain and elaborate, unfortunately, I somewhat lost it. Hence, I will leave with another hadith, and a verse from the Qur’an.

Abu Hurairah, radiyallahu ‘anhu,that the Prophet, sallalluhu ‘alaiyi wasallam said:

“A strong person is not the person who throws his adversaries to the ground. A strong person is the person who contains himself when he is angry” (Bukhari)

In the Qur’an, Allah s.w.t mentions the qualities of the Muttaqeen (may we be amongst these, amin),

“Those who spend (in Allah’s cause) in prosperity and in adversity, who repress their anger, and who pardon men, verily, Allah loves the al-Muhsinun” (3:133-4)

Assalamualaikum, sweethearts. Goodnight and lovely dreams.

 

Soulmates?

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

I truly love Facebook for the shared Islamic information that we are able to grasp with one click of the mouse. Alhamdullilah, it has serve at least one beneficial purpose. In reading a note by someone I do not know, I came across these two quotes – one from the Qur’an, and the other from the hadith.

“And among His Signs is this that He created for you spouses of your own kind, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy for one another: verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.” (Ar-Rum, 30:21)

Allah will say on the Day of Resurrection: “Where are those who love one another through My glory? Today I shall give them shade in My shade, it being a day when there is no shade but My shade. (Hadith Qudsi related by al-Bukhari [also by Malik]).

Shukran to the unknown author, for these touch my soul. For the sake of Allah, I truly see the usefulness of a spouse that would help you in reducing the potential sins that you might otherwise commit. A legitimate protector for travel, to keep you in safety. To avoid fitnah of others with the bond legal in the eyes of Allah, and even if it did excite fitnah, you know that all these are just adding to your pahala, extra weights that you honestly require in order to tip the scales against evil deeds and emerge victorious. How wonderful it would be if your spouse and you truly love each other for Allah’s sake? The honestly and integrity, the willingness to forgive, the commitment and dedication inserted into making the marriage work. The well-groomed physique of both parties, masyaAllah, it would be lovely indeed. InsyaAllah, all the couples I know, especially those of you who are to be engaged/married, I truly hope that you love each other for the sake of Allah s.w.t. The baraqah that He will bestow on you would be so great then; I imagine.

InsyaAllah, if I am able to get to heaven at the end of my journey and start anew there, I would love to see the appearance of Nabi Yusuf (alaihi salaam). For Allah gave half of the world’s beauty to him. MasyaAllah, how truly gorgeous he must be. For that possession acted as a great test to him, and he aced it with flying colours being ever so humble to those around him, and fighting against the temptations of the dunya; especially that of women. I hope to fight the temptations of my dunya, against men, as well, and one day, insyaAllah find a soulmate that I would love and that would love me for the sake of Allah; on top of everything else. I hope everyone of us will achieve that, in spite of our flawed present lives. Okay, well, my flawed life, at least.

 

Once Bitten, Twice Shy?

Thanks to a friend, I was able to pirate off The Crusades: The Crescant and the Cross. Needless to say, I love the documentary, as I do with all good, mostly objective documentaries. This one, being about Islam, touches my heart more.

It seems that the Crusades occured too many years ago, but it is all but forgotten. Evidences are manifested in sites, and in monuments, in long abandoned ruins, in academia, in stories and in films. The Crusades symbolize a power struggle, between the Christians, and retaliation from the Muslims. It is an outrage, I feel, for people to utilize religion for their own benefit! Recently, I had a deep conversation with a foreign friend about Islam. He wanted to know of my ‘change’ and I wanted to know wherein lies the lack of his faith, especially when he grew up in Muslim countries. Inevitably and miserably so, people are inclined to judge a faith by its people. He shared an experience of a mullah whom was the imam at a local mosque, so revered and respected by the community. However, his family caught this mullah with the maid, and it made an impact upon him as a person on the hypocrisy of those who claim to embrace Islam. He also spoke about the lack of conviction due to contradicting historical accounts, and documents gradually being found that might all just ‘prove’ that religion is as Marx infamously puts it – a mere opium used to control the people. Astaugfirallah. Although I am a partial Marxist, and I do feel that since the Prophet’s (sallahu alaihi wasallam) time, there are many leaders who used religion as a tool of manipulation, it was something that our Prophet Muhammad never did, neither did the four rightly guided caliphs. That alone is enough to convince me of the utopian dunya that existed during the rule of these pious and most intelligent people. I am deeply saddened by the fact that many born Muslims are unable to see the beauty of Rasullulah. The beauty of Abu Bakr, the beauty of Umar, the beauty of Uthman, the beauty of Ali, the beauty of Hassan and Hussein. MasyaAllah, Islam produced so many well-manered, intelligent, so many balanced individuals who were out to improve our ummah.

Through the film of the Crusades, I saw the beauty of Jerusalem, and I long to visit the place where Prophet Musa, Isa and Muhammad (peace be upon them) once laid their feet on those grounds.The Crusades ended with Jerusalem in Muslim hands; in the dawn of our new age, the Jews took over. Would we really witness a third world war where the Zionists will rule? Islam would be forced to unite against a common enemy then, just as Saladin sought to unite the Muslim world to strike back against the Christians, and declared Jihad. Perhaps this upcoming turbulence is necessary for our Muslim brothers and sisters to be united under the banner of Islam; not divided under different sects and teachings.

 

The Dawn of a New Day

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

I was reading articles online and I came across an article on the sun. Thought I would just share it as it is an easy read, and it is really MashaAllah for our beloved Prophet (sallahu alaihi wasalam) to share the fact of the sun to his companions, and by extension to us, his ummah. If you were to disagree by saying that scientists recently discover that the sun will turn into a red dwarf or whatever in time to come, then I’d say that the Day of Judgment is less than 5 billion years (time estimated for the sun’s energy to run out).

Ibn ‘Abbas (A.S.) narrated that the Prophet (PBUH) was asked:

“Where does the sun set, and where does it rise from? The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) answered, “It is going in a (nonstop) regular motion; it does not cease or disappear. It sets in one place and rises in another, and sets in another place and rises elsewhere and so on. So, some people would say the sun has set and others would say it has just risen (at the same moment).”

Explanation of the Hadith

This hadith refers to the fact that there is a continuous alternate sunrise and sunset on earth. This could only take place if the earth is spherical or spheroid, and is, at the same time, continuously rotating round its axis facing the sun. This motion pattern leads to the continuous alternation of day and night on its surface, until life on earth comes to an end, i.e. until the Day of Resurrection.

One of the most prominent phenomena linked to this spherical shape of the earth, is that there are different places of sunrise and sunset for different zones of the globe. Each of the sun, the moon and other celestial bodies, sets somewhere in the globe and rises in another. They are all rotating, regularly, in fixed orbits, which they never leave or depart from. Truly, Allah says:

(…They all float, each in an orbit.) (Surat Ya-Sin: 40).

The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) talked about all these cosmic facts in such accurate scientific style at a period of time when people thought that the earth was flat and stationary. This is definitely one of the signs, which testifies to the truthfulness of the message of Muhammad (PBUH). For sure, no one in the Arabian Peninsula at the time of revelation, and for centuries to follow realized the fact that the earth is spherical and that it rotates around its axis facing the sun. Needless to say that at that time, no one was able to perceive the real or the apparent motion of the moon, the sun and other celestial bodies, as Arabia was but a simple and primitive environment.

The Glorious Qur’an refers to the spherical shape of the earth and its axial rotating, and to its revolving in its orbit around the sun. The Qur’an refers to these issues in many verses but in a subtle implicit way which may not astound the Bedouins in the desert of the Arabian Peninsula at the time of revelation, but still keeps the scientific fact in context.

Among these verses are the following:

Allah the Almighty says:

(He has created the heavens and the earth with truth. He makes the night to go in the day and makes the day to go in the night. And He has subjected the sun and the moon. Each running (on a fixed course) for an appointed term. Verily, He is the All-Mighty, the oft-Forgiving.) (Surat Az-Zumar (The Groups):5)

1. The Glorious Qur’an also confirms in more than one verse that the earth is “spread out” without ending at an edge. This could only be possible if the earth is spherical or spheroid, as the spherical shape is the only shape, which could endlessly be spread out or extended. For example, Allah the Almighty says:

(And it is He Who spread out the earth, and placed therein firm mountains and rivers…) (Surat Ar-Ra’d (The Thunder): 3)

2. The same fact is also assured when the Qur’an refers to the East and the West in different forms. First in the singular, then in the dual form by indicating that there are “Two Easts and Two Wests”, and in the plural form by referring to “Easts and Wests”. This also emphasizes the fact that the earth is spherical and that it rotates round its axis while facing the sun. These verses also emphasize the fact that the Earth is tilted on its axis and that it does not orbit the sun in a perfect circle.

3. The fact that the earth is spherical in shape is also emphasized by the verses referring to the alternation of night and day. The Glorious Qur’an indicates how Allah makes the ‘Night overlap (Kawwar) the Day and the Day overlap the Night’ (Surat Az-Zumar: 5). Among the verses that indicate the spherical shape of the earth is the one referring to the passing away of the mountains in the same way the clouds do:

(And you will see the mountains and think them solid, but they shall pass away as the passing away of the clouds…) (Surat An-Naml (The Ants):88)

All of the above facts mentioned in the Qur’an have urged Muslims, at the time of the Abbasid Caliph al-Ma’mun, to measure the circumference of the earth very accurately. Their motive was the firm belief that the earth is spherical and that it rotates around its axis facing the sun. Moreover, the Muslim scholar and scientist “al-Bayyruni” divided the earth into lines of longitude and latitude, in his book:” Tahdid Nihayat al-Amakin li Tas-hih Masafat al-Masakin,” which he wrote in 416 A.H (about 1040 A.C.).

The source of all this knowledge is the illuminating signs that are mentioned in the Qur’an and Sunnah of the Prophet (PBUH), and each of them testifies to the truthfulness and the Divine nature of the Message of the last of the Prophets and Messengers. This accurate scientific knowledge could not be obtained except for a Divine Revelation.

By: Dr. Zaghloul El-Naggar

 

Agree to Disagree?

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم (I stole this from Am’s blog.)

It has been a long time since I’ve wrote here, and I feel that there has been a spiritual deficit on my part. I guess it occurs periodically to Muslims who are still striving and struggling to uphold our iman. InsyaAllah, Allah سبحانهوتعال ‎ will guide us and to His right path.

Tonight, I feel the need to consolidate what I have learnt in tafsir class a couple of weeks ago and the class that has only recently passed. Two weeks ago, while learning on Surah 7; al-Araf, we came upon an ayah that I feel makes a wonderful and meaningful du’a -

Our Lord! Pour out on us patience and constancy, and make us die as those who have surrendered themselves unto You. (7:126)

Amin! InsyaAllah, this du’a will be granted to all of us, Muslims!

We have all been surely made aware of the hadith whereby Rasullulah (Salallahu alaihi wasallam) explains to us how the Jews were divided into seventy-one sects or firqah, and the Christians were similarly divided into seventy-two firqah. Then he (Salallahu alaihi wasallam) states that this Ummah will divide into seventy-three sects and that all but the one who follows what he (Salallahu alaihi wasallam) and his companions followed will be in hell.

This hadith must have at one point or another brings forth this question of whether we are indeed on the right track. Countless of times we have heard people claiming superiority of being members of the ’safe’ Ummah, and casting doubt over other Muslim ’sects’. Well, I would just like to share the answer that Ustad Yaseer gave us in the class when I asked him about this hadith. He said that there are many interpretations of this hadith, yet the best one that he has encountered would be that the ummah of our Rasullulah that is divided into 73 sects are inclusive of all religions that exist during the Prophet’s time and after. All this divisions, apart from those who witness that there is no God worthy of worship but Allah سبحانهوتعال, and Muhammad is the messenger of Allah. Believe in the 5 pillars of Islam, and 6 pillars of iman. Just as he mentioned, I feel that this view is consistent with Allahسبحانهوتعال as all-Merciful and He who loves us, His creation and the believers. Furthermore, there should not be arrogance amongst Muslims, ourselves, as to condemn others who are not of the same ’sect’ as we should not even be divided into sects in the first place. There was never such a thing in the time of Rasullulah, and all were regarded as Muslims with their faults, flaws and sins. However, as time progressed, humans feel the need to differentiate amongst themselves, to set upon them a ‘right’ and a ‘wrong’, trapping us within this vicious cycle of confusion.

For that, I truly du’a that the second coming of Nabi Isa (alaihisalaam) draws near, and truth will be restored once again. Amin.

There has been too many debates and arguments and refutations amongst us; depiction of anger, sarcasm, bitterness and so on painted all over the internet. Is it really necessary to concentrate on the faults of others, and how they ‘paint’ the image of Islam instead of focusing on our individual role as an ambassador of Islam. Is it not more important to erase clear-cut inaccuracies on Islam as being a violent religion, a religion of murder and terrorism, rather than to envelope it further by widening the gap between Muslims. I have never been a fan of standing up for individual sects of Islam, as I take it that we are all Muslims and that is enough for us to overlook the differences that we have. Furthermore, I do not have the knowledge to argue and to accuse. I guess on my part, I’m banking a lot of Allah’s mercy to save me from sufferings in the afterlife. We try our best, with a clear conscience, and we leave it to Allah to accept our deeds, and to have mercy for our misdeeds. InsyaAllah, we will be saved. Islam has always been about expanding outwards; to save ourselves, and our families from the hell-fire and then, others. It is the same with charity; it is always to give our families first before others. We must be responsible for ourselves, and our families before we take on the responsibility for others. And that, I belief, should only be done with the right knowledge.

Initially, I wanted to add on to share a little about Aqeedah, but perhaps not, since I do not wish to engage in any form of argument with my fellow Muslim brothers and sisters. Alhamdullilah, the answers to the questions that I seek clarification from always results in having a deeper respect for Islam as my deen, and Allah as Rabil alamin.

Assalamualaikum

 

Our Beloved…

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

The rush of school diverts my attention away from Allah subhanahuwataa’la, and I feel like I cherish Rasullulah sallahu alahi wasallam lesser. It saddens me that this is so, even if I well know that Allah holds my fate, and with his grades comes good grades. I miss tafsir classes greatly, and I can’t wait to involve myself in books and lectures after my exams.

I came across a poem written for our beloved prophet on the net, and I feel compelled to share it. It makes me feel immensely better, and gives me strength to pull through these trying times, with full knowledge that my ultimate role model has been through infinitely worse challenges. How could they blind themselves to his charisma, to his beauty and to his message? How could I feel desolate and miserable when what I should really be saying is Alhamdullilah, and not wallow in sadness, and strive to be a better person?

Ya Rasulullah

When I read the books, listen to the CD’s, and hear the narrations, I am in a continuous daze,
Hearing of your patience, tranquility, and endless faith, I am truly amazed,
Though words can never be enough to describe your character, personality, and life,
I strive to learn and reflect upon your unshakeable iman through every difficulty and strife.

Ya Rasulullah, when I begin to recall your youth as an orphaned child,
All problems and difficulties of mine seem vaguely mild,
When I reflect upon your isolation, being turned away from your hometown,
Your thankfulness and content, never publicly displaying a frown,
When I remember how the Muslims were tortured, and you were amongst them,
How every patient response of yours, was such a valuable lesson and gem,
I imagine them spilling camel guts onto your back as you prayed,
But the more they tortured and taunted, the stronger your resolute, never to fade,
I see the trash spilled in front of your home and the thorns that surround,
But, in your heart, you knew, that for victory you were bound,
I read about the incident in Ta’if and I cry,
For every stone that was thrown, for every injury, for the blood that would dry,
I recall the slanderous words thrown around, “sorcerer” and “madman”,
And I remember the starvation and the loneliness through the sanctions and ban,
Ya Rasulullah, when I begin to complain about rejection and isolation,
I remember all that you faced, oh what an inspiration.

Ya Rasulullah, when I remember the losses you continuously faced,
My meager losses are quickly forgotten in haste,
Losing Abu Talib, your protection while amongst your enemies,
The man who tried to convert the taunts and the discrimination into ease,
The passing of Khadijah (R), your beloved wife,
The inspirational woman, who led you through each low point, every strife,
I imagine you tearing as you bury your children, such a difficult sight,
In the midst of your difficulties, your responsibility to lead the Ummah with strength and might,
As I sit and think about my material losses, I begin to realize,
That your faith took you through each and every difficulty, no matter effect or size.

As I read, listen, and hear of your inspirational Sunnah, every incident and situation,
I forget and shoo away all problems, difficulties, and frustration,
And after all this reflection and inspiration, I decide that if I could have only one more wish, it would be, To see your smiling face in the Hereafter and be among those for whom you call, “Ummati, Ummati.”